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DJ came over to Ralph as he sat at the bar. "Hey Ralph, what'll ya' have?" Gimme a Guinness, DJ." Comin' right up! Say, what's with the shirt? What the hell's a co-ed tandem beer-pissing contest? You really won that?" Naw! There ain't no such thing. I got it in some novelty shop at a kink club in the city. I got it as a joke to see how people, well, girls react." Ain't no girls in here tonight." DJ was right, there wasn't a female in the place; but it was the end of footbowl season and the bar was filling up with guys to watch the Superball game on the big-screen TV.Ralph started to watch the game, but when he saw the Giants bungle the first play at the start of the game he decided to bug out after downing his beer. He headed down the street to Waves, the new place with the vibrating dance floor.Ralph could hear Rammstein pounding the street from half a block away. The place was jumping to Mutter as he entered. He squeezed his way up to the bar and ordered another beer. He didn't. ‘Alright, alright, I’m going. I’ll see you later.‘ ‘Bye.’ A child on each hand, he walked out the door. ‘Finally,’ I thought to myself. I quickly turned off the kids’ movie and put it away, then cleared all of the pillows off of the couch. I wiped down the table in the dining room, and I made sure there was plenty of ice in the freezer. I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, and I made my way to our bedroom. The challenge of what to wear stumped me, I hadn’t bought anything new in a while, and anything fancy I had, he’d already seen. I played around with the idea of using a work outfit, and then discarded it. I didn’t want to risk getting hard to explain stains on any of my pants or skirts. Finally, it hit me, why bother wearing anything at all? It made perfect sense, after all, what was lingerie anyway, but another obstacle to remove? I smiled to myself devilishly- it was so simple. I threw my towel in the hamper, went downstairs and grabbed a bottle of Scotch, two.
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